


Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone... But less stupid.

by 14skiesofred



Series: Harry Potter But Less Stupid [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Angst, Black Hermione, Drarry, F/F, F/M, Fluff, I Love That Woman, M/M, Rewrite, are you ready for the next tag, god this is gonna be long, it's gonna be gay, oh no my fingers slipped whoops, or unfinished, updates every friday-ish!, watch me never finish this even though i want to, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/14skiesofred/pseuds/14skiesofred
Summary: Imagine what would've happened if Harry was never placed with the Dursleys and Snape got over himself, dropped the attitude and took in the poor boy.Featuring McGonagall as the overprotective aunt and Wolfstar as uncles. Dumbledore is sadly still Dumbledore, but I doubt the adventures of Harry Potter would've existed at all if it weren't for that crazy old man.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy!! Here we go again, a Harry Potter AU that my friend Aster and I brainstormed together about three hours ago. No regrets.  
> Beware, this prologue itself is really short but I hope the next chapters turn out longer!!  
> As you might've noticed, Sirius never ended up in Azkaban because they put him under Veritaserum and he told them Pettigrew was behind the whole thing. Problem solved.  
> A few dedications before we start:
> 
> To myself, because I’m a genius.
> 
> To JK Rowling, to spite your cowardly hetero ass.
> 
> And lastly, to the ever so lovely Aster - You’ve been there to brainstorm and discuss crazy ideas with me when I’ve run out of inspiration, half the contents in this book probably came from you, and you’re the only reason I was able to publish this.  
> Thank you,  
> Always.
> 
> Edited 10/4-18: Fixed grammatical mistakes + a typo.  
> If you notice any mistakes, please point them out to me! English isn't my first language <3  
> Edited 11/4-18: Spacing added to make reading easier.
> 
> Enjoy!

A tall woman, probably around fifty years of age, stood in the ruins of what was once a house. In her arms, a baby.  
Not any baby, of course — this baby was Harry Potter, the one who would become known as the boy who lived. The only person who had ever survived the killing curse.  
“Minerva?”  
She turned around, black robes billowing around her, wand ready in case there was a threat.

Albus Dumbledore stood behind her. The headmaster of Hogwarts, Britain’s school of witchcraft and wizardry.  
“Thank you for coming, Albus.” She graced him with a small smile, then gestured to the sleeping boy swaddled in her arms. “He has nowhere to go, am I correct?”  
Albus nodded. “His only living relatives are muggles, and it’s not safe to leave him with them. I am well aware Remus would’ve taken him, but he and Sirius can’t really take care of a child his age, especially considering Remus’ little… problem.”

Minerva pondered his words for a second before making a decision.  
“I’ll be taking him. He’ll live at Hogwarts with me, although I expect him to receive his own chambers."  
“Of course. I’ll have the elves see to it immediately after our return.”  
The two professors apparated to the little village outside the large castle that acted as school grounds and slowly but surely made their way back to the school.

They hadn’t gotten far into the building when they ran into Severus Snape, the Potions professor with long black hair and one hell of an attitude. This attitude rarely saw the light of day again, though, because Harry awoke just then, opening his green eyes.  
“Could it be… Harry Potter? Is this Lily’s son?”  
Minerva gave a bittersweet smile and a nod. “He has nowhere else to go. I’m taking him in.”

Severus’ eyes widened. He leaned over the baby in Minerva’s arms, smiling at the little boy and cooing when he smiled back. Every professor and student around them stared in shock at the usually so stoic man showing any form of affection, but they quickly turned around, pretending they never saw anything, when the professor himself shot a death glare towards anyone who looked in their direction, effectively shutting down any whispering.  
“I’ll take him.”

Minerva just stared at him in shock, unable to utter a word. She looked over at Albus, but his face bore the same expression.  
“I suppose that’s fine… Make sure you give him a room in your chambers, then. Come get me if anything goes wrong."  
Minerva handed over the curious baby, who had been staring at the different patterns of the ceiling the whole time, to Severus.  
He knew he would come to regret this decision at some point. Probably really soon, actually. He was practically feeling the regret creep up behind him, ready to pounce. But, he promised himself he’d keep Lily’s son safe. It was the least he could do, after all.

And so, Harry’s life began. His family would come to look a little weird, but what’s there not to love about it?


	2. New friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that, chapter 1 is already here! And, it's four times the length of the prologue.  
> This time, I've had my beta look over it (barely though), and it should hopefully be fine.  
> As always, please notify me of any mistakes! I learn from them.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Minerva, it’s his first year. At least let him take the Hogwarts Express to school. It’s never gonna be the same if he doesn’t get to do it now.”

Minerva, the ever so protective woman, sighed and relented. “Fine, Severus, I suppose you’re right.”  
Severus broke out into a smug grin. “Of course I’m ri—”  
“And, since you insist, you’ll be taking Harry to the train station.”

Severus sighed. His original plan was to have Sirius or Remus take him, but he guessed that was fine too. He’d always had a soft spot for that kid.  
After all, he was Harry’s adoptive father. And just look at that sweetheart, who wouldn't have a soft spot for him? Severus blamed the whole thing on him being Lily's son, but we all know he was infatuated with Harry Potter from the very beginning. 

Speak of the devil, the messy-haired boy came skipping out of his room, dressed in his new robes. “Minnie, Sev, will they arrive soon? I can’t wait to be sorted and make friends my age.”  
Harry, who’d been living at Hogwarts for the last eleven years, had made many friends, all of them older than him since he technically didn’t go there yet. 

(And if the professors had tutored him a little bit ahead of time, no one needed to know that.)

Severus glanced at the godfather clock he had standing in the corner in his chambers down in the dungeons, just outside the Slytherin common room. “The train should depart in half an hour or so,” he responded. 

Minerva waved the child over to her. “Harry?” The boy perked up at the mention of his name. “What would you think about taking the Hogwarts Express this year?”

Harry’s eyes immediately lit up.“You mean… I can make friends on the train already? And I don’t have to wait for everyone to arrive?”  
“Of course, darling.” Minerva smiled at the grinning wizard in front of her. He was such a precious child. Harry jumped and fist-bumped the air. “When are we leaving?”

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

With a loud pop, Harry arrived at Platform 9 ¾ with his guardian by his side. Severus ushered him towards the train, wary of everyone staring at them, occasionally glaring at people if he felt they got too close to him and his son.

When they finally reached the open doors, Harry turned around and hugged his adoptive father tight. “See you in The Great Hall.” Before Snape had time to respond, the little rascal had already turned and ran inside the train to find the best compartment. 

The problem with running on a train full of people, however, is that you’ll inevitably bump into someone, and that is exactly what Harry did.  
“I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed, helping the poor boy up. “I didn’t mean to run into you like that!”  
The blond boy in front of him snorted. “It’s fine, really. I’m Draco, Draco Malfoy.”  
“Harry. Harry Potter.”  
Draco’s eyes widened for a split second, but he quickly calmed himself after realizing it was rude to stare. 

“Nice to meet you, Harry. Would you like to come sit with my friend and I?”  
Harry couldn’t very well say no to that, making friends was what he’d wanted after all! So, he nodded with a smile and followed Draco as he led him further into the train.  
Soon enough, the glass doors of a compartment were pushed open by the blond and inside was an eleven-year-old witch dressed in robes just like Harry’s. 

Draco broke the silence first.   
“This is Harry Potter, our new friend. We quite literally bumped into each other, so I offered for him to sit with us.”  
The black haired girl inside grinned and stood up to shake Harry’s hand. “I’m Pansy Parkinson. We’re gonna be great friends, I just know it.”

“Harry, what house are you wishing to end up in?” Pansy asked from her seat beside him.  
Harry shrugged. Minerva was the head of Gryffindor, so he wouldn’t mind being placed there, and Severus was the head of Slytherin, so he wouldn’t mind that either. He was sure Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were wonderful houses as well, but he didn't feel like he belonged in either of them.

“Slytherin I suppose?” was his final answer. His two friends grinned, and Draco spoke. “We’re all hoping to be placed in Slytherin, actually. It’d be fantastic if you joined us!”  
Just then, the compartment doors slid open again, revealing another two young wizards.

“All the other compartments are full, mind if we sit here with you?” the girl asked, slightly out of breath from jogging all the way down the moving train. Harry hadn’t even noticed their departure, he was so engrossed in the conversation with his friends.  
“Sure, why not?” Surprising them all, Harry was the one to respond. Not that the others complained, of course — they didn’t have anything against making more friends.

“Thanks!”

The boy made his way inside and sat down next to Draco, who turned to look at him.   
“Are you a Weasley? Your red hair reminds me of the other Weasley’s I’ve met in Diagon Alley.”  
The redhead nodded with a grin as he rummaged through his bag, seemingly looking for something. “Ron Weasley. Nice to meet you!”  
Draco smiled back. “Nice to meet you too. I’m Draco Malfoy.”

“Score!” Ron exclaimed as he pulled out a bag of Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans, immediately ripping it open. He overestimated the amount of strength needed to open the little bag though, as jelly beans spilled everywhere on the compartment floor.

The girl, who had been watching silently the whole time, flicked her wrist once and all the beans were back in the bag.  
“I’m Hermione Granger. Pleasure.” Pansy introduced herself next, and then it was Harry’s turn. “I’m Harry Potter. Nice to meet you!” 

Hermione gasped, and Ron just stared at him as if he’d grown an extra pair of ears. “You’re Harry Potter! The boy who lived!” Ron yelled as the others covered their ears. “Where have you been for the last eleven years? So many articles have been written about you, the most famous boy in Wizarding Britain, but no one has seen you since you were a baby!”

Harry shrugged. “I’ve lived at Hogwarts. It’s been kept secret, though, until I got old enough to start going to school. Not even my adoptive father was allowed to tell anyone except my godfathers!” Harry chuckled.

Draco, curious as always, spoke up next. “Adoptive father? Is it one of the professors?” Harry nodded with a smile. “Potions professor Severus Snape, actually.”Pansy let out a loud wheeze, clutching her stomach as she doubled over with laughter. “Snape? Draco, are you hearing this? Our mothers’ stoic old friend Snape, taking care of a child? Harry Potter, much less?” After that, no one could contain their laughter, not even Harry himself. Everyone had heard of Severus’s horrific attitude, and none of them would’ve ever pictured him caring for a son the way he evidently did now. 

A voice could suddenly be heard from outside. “Sweets, anyone?”   
Draco rose from his seat across from Harry and slid the doors open for the third time that day. Harry stood as well, pulling out something that looked like a muggle wallet but was actually enhanced to fit much more inside since wizard money only consisted of coins, not bills.

He smiled back at everyone in the compartment. “I’ll cover it all. Get whatever you want.”  
Everyone but Hermione rushed to the trolley to get their hands on their favourite sweets before anyone else could take them all. Hermione just sat there, hesitant to buy anything.  
“Don’t worry, Hermione. I probably have more money than I could ever use.” She shook her head, dark curls bouncing with the motion.

“It’s not only that, my parents are dentists. Muggle dentists. Sweets aren’t very good for your teeth…”  
Harry giggled. “We have magic, ‘Mione, you’re not going to die from eating a few sweets. Go on, if you hurry you might have time to grab something before Ron eats it all.”  
The girl snorted at his comment but did as he said.

Soon, everyone had their lap full of sweets and Harry’s wallet felt significantly lighter.  
He looked at his newfound friends, all laughing at something silly Ron had said, and Harry’s heart felt lighter as well. This was going to be a great year.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

The train pulled to a stop at its final destination, just by a lake outside the castle. The five kids got off the train together, trying their best to figure out where to go, when a loud voice belted: “First years with me! Come on, all first years this way!”

The voice belonged to one Rubeus Hagrid, half-giant and groundskeeper of Hogwarts. Draco grabbed Harry’s hand, as friends do, and pulled him towards the source of the voice. Hagrid stood over by a bunch of boats at the edge of the lake.

The first years were meant to paddle across the lake since it was convenient for everyone involved. The later years rode carriages, which was a much faster means of travel, so everyone had time to prepare for the sorting ceremony before the first years arrived. So, they paired up and got an oar each. Hermione went with Pansy, Ron with Blaise, and that left Harry with Draco. No complaints there.

The two boys paddled in silence, awestruck by the view of the castle in the dark. The lights were still on, so it looked just like the magical place it truly was.  
Minerva McGonagall waited for them on the other side of the lake, ready to take over and lead the curious children inside.

“Minnie!” A blurry figure approached the Transfigurations professor, hugging her tight. She looked down at the boy, ruffling his hair.  
“There you are! Did you have a good time? Made any friends?”

Harry grinned and nodded. “Of course!”  
He pointed to where his group of friends stood, gaping at his sudden affection towards the usually stern Hogwarts professor, before realizing he lived at Hogwarts so this was normal.  
Everyone lined up and followed the deputy headmistress into the building.

She stopped outside the massive wooden doors that lead to the Great Hall. “When you enter, please take a seat at the very front. We have set out benches for you there. When I call your name, you come up to me and sit on the chair. I will place the Sorting Hat on your head, and it’ll decide what Hogwarts house you will be placed in. Then, you go join your new house at the respective table. Any questions?”

No one responded, so Minerva pushed the doors open, and with the students in tow, walked to the very front of the room, just by the professors’ table. A long list appeared in her hands as she called the first student up; Hannah Abbott. Hufflepuff. The list kept going until McGonagall reached Hermione. The mentioned girl stood up on shaky legs and slowly made her way to the chair, more nervous than she had ever been before.

The Hat barely touched her head before yelling out: “GRYFFINDOR!” Hermione grinned and jumped off the chair, nearly sprinting all the way to the Gryffindor table where she joined her new housemates.   
Ron was placed in Gryffindor as well, as you’d expect, since all his brothers were Gryffindors as well. Pansy and Draco were both placed in Slytherin, as they had wished, which wasn’t very surprising either.

At last, it was Harry’s turn. He smiled nervously at his adoptive aunt as he sat down on the chair and the Hat was placed on his head.  
‘What to do with you… You seem to match two houses…’   
The Hat’s voice could be heard inside Harry’s head. It was then silent for five minutes or so, the Hat seemingly taking its time to think.  
No one dared make a sound.

Finally, it decided. “SLYTHERIN!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do consider leaving kudos or a comment if you enjoyed, it fuels my writing! Every comment makes me type a little bit faster.  
> I have an update schedule now, aka every Friday-ish (yes, I'm well aware it's not Friday today), but chapters may come out a little earlier.  
> Until next time!
> 
> Linnéa

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments fuel my writing (you can even leave several comments, I love responding to them)!  
> While you're waiting for me to finish the next chapter, come talk to me on tumblr (@clxud-y) or on twitter (@linneaa_o)! Just let me know you came from this fic and I'll gladly follow back <3
> 
> Until next time,  
> Linnéa


End file.
